Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Deep,deep, too deep love!

I don't know how depressive the Blue Monday was, but the Tuesday beat all the records! So, it was announcing to be a fun day. We were supposed to attend the annual reception at organized by Pascal's institution where he works, and he was supposed to deliver the greeting speech, as he is known as a virtual-potential stand-up comedian. And, we did all these things!The evening was great, Pascal was really very,very good...we all laughed with tears in our eyes, after that everybody congratulated him, and at a reasonable hour we decided to go home! Well, now it starts! I don't even know how to start, how to write it down! I want to make you feel a certain thing, but also I don't want to be too sentimental, and, again, to miss the message!
Luca was at home, with a close relative and her daughter. Maybe some of you read earlier Pascal's poem "Pure pain". It is inspired by the sad story of this 15 year old girl, which last night was just about to become tragic! She is in love, and lost the object of her love. Now she would like to lose the love somehow, as the pain, the agony she is in, she can't bear any more! In the last days, we tried to be some comfort to her, but all we hear among tears and after apathetic reactions, is that she just wants a way out, she can't fight anymore and that the pain is too much for her. We could see on her face, in her eyes that she meant it. And last night she decided to end it. On our trip back, we got a phone call from the mother of the girl, desperately crying that the little one took a lot of pills, that were given to her on prescription by the psychologist who is treating her.
You can imagine all the craziness following this phone call. The speed we were driving to reach home, ambulance"s noise and lights waking up the whole street, the panic, the desperate efforts to gather our minds together so that we don't forget anything that she might need in the hospital, mother who was blaming herself for going to the toilet and letting her alone when she found this moment to try killing herself, us trying to comfort the mother, the trembling of that little body on the stretcher, the pale unmoved face.
How deep can you love somebody, when you are only 15? How can we tell them that rule no 1 when you are 15, in love and in a relationship, is that IT DOESN'T LAST! That "forever" when you are 15 may last a week, a month, or 7 months! That "I can't live without you" means "I want you and...somebody else too!" Unfortunately, some of the 15's have the depth to mean it when they say: I can't live without you! I wish I could give her my mind, just for a second, so that she can see, she can know, what I know: that it is not the end of the world, that one day, pretty soon, she's gonna be fine, that unfortunately nobody can take her pain away, she must go through this alone and making small steps every day. But, all my words are heard by deaf ears!

9 comments:

Sammi said...

Is she going to be okay? I am so sorry for that.

I think that whether you are 15 or 50 love is as real as it feels at the time. I don't believe love comes to you at a certain age or you need any knowledge to do so. My parents were together first when my Dad was 15 and my mum was 13 and then got back together when my mum was 19 and my dad 21. So many people marry their high school sweethearts... love at 15 is surely possible.

georgi_claudia said...

Yes, but you see, you said it yourself..your parents got back together when they were more mature, more prepared. I think that worst in this story is that love caught her off guard!We don't know if, or how she is gonna be ok. As health right now, she is ok, but she said nothing changd for her, she still wants to die!So, we don't know yet if she will go in a clinic, or what kind of therapy she will have to follow...

Dilimache said...

Oh God... I hope she's ok!!! I know that poem and it made me remember that period of my life very clearly. Yes, it seems like being the end of your world when you're 15. I can understand all these... cause when the heart is beginning to feel that awesome feeling - your young and pure mind can;t think about living without that human being you love. And it seems that yes, this could happen to your friends or relatives anytime...
There's much to say... 15 is beautiful but also very dangerous. I don't want to feel what you felt while driving to her.. never. God help her realise life's too precious to waste it like that...

georgi_claudia said...

No, Dili,unfortunately, she doesn't realise that! Probably an institution is the solution. we will have an answer tomorrow.Dea Domnu sa nu simti niciodata ce am simtit noi pe drum spre casa!

Little Miss Sunset said...

cu totii am incercat sa facem asta la un moment dat, in jurul varstei de 15 ani. stiu si inteleg ce ai simtit. trist este ca nimeni nu merita un astfel de sacrificiu. absolut nimeni. avem tendinta de a fi lasi atunci cand trebuie sa fim puternici si invers. sper sa fie ok si sa radeti de asta peste ceva timp.
take care.

Dilimache said...

Cred ca si prietenele ei trebuie sa aiba un rol decisiv in asta... Stiu pe cineva care a incercat sa se sinucida din dragoste dar pe la 27 de ani, tot cu pastile, dupa care fizic si-a revenit ok, insa el s-a intors la ea de teama sa n-o faca iarasi si acum sunt impreuna dar clar se vede ca nu-s fericiti, e ceva bolnavicios fiindca el se tot eschiveaza si pleaca de acasa si din tara iar ea se incapataneaza sa-l iubeasca asa. In furia ei de-a iubi oricum, fata aceea nu mai are prieteni. Stiu ca nu e aceeasi situatie, insa cred ca ar putea fi o solutie inconjurarea ei de catre prietene, parinti si voi, poate Pascal o convinge a-si canalizeze durerea catre poezie, eu chiar cred ca un blog ar ajuta-o sa-si expuna sentimentele (nu stiu daca este dispusa) si cu siguranta vor fi multi cei care ar aprecia-o si ar intelege-o. Si atunci i-ar fi mai usor sa zareasca si alte laturi ale vietii. Keep in touch...

georgi_claudia said...

Pascal a vorbit mult cu ea, in zilele astea ce cand a avut loc despartirea, si a fost singurul care a putut sa-i dea putina lumina in ochii ei stinsi, chiar a spus ca poate vorbi cu el mai bine decat cu psiholog, dar acum nu mai poate nici el sa ajunga la ea...s-a inchis total, pentru ca persoana cu pricina, desi are pe altcineva acum ii tot spuneca inca are sentimente pt ea, se joaca cu sentimentele si mintea ei...din cauza asta ea este atat de bulversata. prietene...are cateva, dar sunt mai rau ca ea (nu stiu de ce fata asta este atrasa de oameni cu grave probleme, prietenul celei mai bune prietene s-a spanzurat...deci...e un cerc vicios si bolnav, poate exact anturajul ei a dus-o catre asemenea gesturi, nu stiu!) Are un blog, dar ...nimic nu o scoate din ale ei!Inteleg ce spui despre cuplul respectiv. Intr-adevar nu poti obliga pe nimeni sa te iubeasca, iar o relatie bazata doar pe mila, este bolnava si nedemna pentru ambii parteneri. Iti imaginezi ce bolnava ste persoana care accepta ca cineva sa stea cu ea de mila,asta nu mai este iubire, este boala!

Dilimache said...

Acum inteleg mai bine... de ce Doamne exista asa de multe drame?! O groaznica incursiune pe youtube mi-a aratat cate tragedii de acest fel exista. Oare de ce e libera hranirea sufletelor ranite cu atatea imagini socante si pentru mine, melodii care indeamna la lucruri rele si videoclipuri de inmormantari?!!!!De ce trebuie sa fii acum de 1000 de ori mai puternic ca acum 20 de ani ca sa traiesti?? Doamne-ajuta... l-as bate pe baiatul acela pana s-a hotari ce simte...of... iarta-ma...

georgi_claudia said...

Stiu,si noi simtim la fel!!eu eram atat de manioasa ca incercam sa gasesc un tap ispasitor, si vorbeam urat despre "persoana cu pricina", dar o raneam tot pe ea, caci nu suporta sa aud asa ceva. Pascal deasemenea i-a cerut ei permisiune sa sune si sa incerce sa afle ce dracu' are in cap!! Scuza-ma dar ma agit numai cand ma gandesc. Pe de alta parte, noi stim ca a noastra este cam sufocanta si foarte geloasa, intr-un fel intelegem si partea cealalta, la 15 ani, te sperii si dai inapoi cand cineva se agata asa de tine,si comenteaza orice sms pe care-l primesti de la un prieten!Relatia a durat 7-8 luni, deci nu pot sa asum ca a vrut-o doar in pat de cateva ori si apoi a aruncat-o ca pe o soseta folosita. ceva sentimente au existat si din partea cealalta!